Sucks to be me

Very quick post just to say I’ve worked out why I suck at blogging and blogging about this topic in general. This could also be why there are so few resources on this topic. It’s hard. It’s hard to condense down the frustrations, fears, anger and depression that goes along with this process into meaningful posts. It’s hard not to just wah about how hard it is. It’s even hard to get the motivation to write.

In a nutshell there are long periods of nothing to report combined with the short periods of is she/isn’t she, followed by the blow of not being successful. It creeps into all aspects of your life and eats away at you until you’re numb and just avoiding thinking about it until you absolutely have to. As the nonbiomum you feel totally powerless whilst also analysing your technique (am I getting the syringe in far enough, am I doing something wrong with the inseminations). The process itself is hard. There’s no romance, there’s little connection – it’s just functional get it in and get it done. Is that the problem? Are my fears affecting things? Is my panic everytime I think about us being successful causing us to fail?

Etc etc etc etc.

I will write a more coherent post soon but right now I am a world of frustration, fear, anger and overwhelming sadness. And don’t even get me started on the current facebook motherhood meme – http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/feb/02/facebook-motherhood-challenge?CMP=fb_gu